I'll Miss You

Young children spend a great deal of time trying to understand the world.  There are so many different things and so many different people out there that need to be examined, categorized, discussed, and understood.  Some things are concrete and are easy to understand - peanut butter, dogs, cars, rain.   Some things are not easily felt and observed  and are more difficult to understand - sadness, later, manners, humor.  Young children are also very egocentric, which makes understanding difficult in many circumstances.  They know that if a friend hits them, it will hurt.  They do not understand that if they hit a friend, it will hurt.

A few days ago I had a conversation with a four year old boy who was obviously trying to make sense of some abstract concepts. 

Bobby:  I am getting older.

Miss Meg:  So am I.

Bobby:  But I am not getting as old as you are.

Miss Meg:  No, you are not.

Bobby:  You will get older and then you will die.

Miss Meg:  Yes, Bobby, that is right.

Bobby:  Everyone gets older and dies someday.

Miss Meg:  Yes, everyone does.

Bobby:  Miss Meg, I will miss you when you are dead.

Death is a difficult concept for a child.  It is hard to imagine that something or someone will just stop being.  Groups of young children will often play dead.  This games involves having a child lie on the floor while several children announce, "She's dead!".  They will then go to work poking her with blocks or play spoons and then jump for joy when the dead child comes alive again.  Bobby is starting to learn that death is permanent, but it is still not completely real to him.  Verbalizing his understanding of death helps him to better understand the concept.

It is also nice to know that I will be missed.

Conversations

I love talking with children.  I enjoy their thought processes, their view of the world, and their understanding (or lack of it) of social conventions.  I find that talking with children is a joyful experience that often teaches me a great deal and makes me laugh.

Several days ago, while I was talking to two young sisters, I admired the clothing that they were wearing and asked the older one if I could have her outfit when she grew too big for it. The girls laughed (for some reason they laugh often when I am talking to them) as the conversation continued.

Alice: You can't wear this.

Meg:  Yes, I can.

A: You are too big.

M: I think that I would look pretty in it.  Why can't I wear it?

A: You can't wear it.

M: You're mean and you can't come to my birthday party.

A: You can't wear it because it is a size 8.

M: I can wear a size 8.

A: I wear a size 8 because I am 8.  You are older, so you wear a size ...

At this point Alice's father intervened and told her that she could not tell me a size.  When I told him that I did not mind, he told me that she did not realize that sizes repeat, and that someone might be offended if she came up with a very large number for a size.  He was, of course, correct.  Not everyone would think it were funny if she came up with a very large number for a size.

I do, however, really wish that I knew what size she was going to assign to me.

A quality early childhood classroom has a number of learning centers, each of which provides a different experience for the children in that classroom.  Some of the more common learning centers are dramatic play, blocks, art, writing, science, sensory, and the cozy corner.  These centers can change often, but keep the basic intent of the area.  The dramatic play area can be a home, a store, a doctor's office, a produce stand - all allow the children to pretend, imagine, and increase their understanding of the world around them.  The sensory area (or tub) may have water, soapy water, ice water, dry coffee grounds, colored rice - the list can go on and on.  No matter what the center or its contents, however, the rule in the classroom often is that "each item stays in its own center".  Fortunately, our four year old teacher does not believe that all toys are used in a vacuum and keeps some of her toys in nontraditional areas.  She even (gasp!) keeps the tools in the block area, rather than relegating them to a tool bench.  I know that it may seem logical that tools and wood go together, but many early childhood teachers do not follow that line of thinking.

Two of our boys, who love to build all kinds of amazing structures with the blocks, have enjoyed having the plastic hammers available, and spend a good share of their day happily hammering the blocks.  Yesterday they began to build with the unit blocks.  They began by laying the longest blocks side-by-side They began to hit the blocks with the hammer, but discovered that the ends weren't even.  The boys then laid on the floor and tapped the blocks with the hammers until they were in a straight line. Once the base was even, they worked to add to the structure and the base began to take shape.  With each addition they hammered until they were satisfied that it was correct.




When the base was complete, the vertical structures were added.  The two boys would each add new elements to the structure.  Again, each new piece was hammered into place, and tapped lightly with the hammer if it needed to be moved into a slightly different place.  While they built, the boys discussed other blocks that would be needed for their structure.  The new blocks were added one by one, adjusted, and hammered into place.



As the  boys worked, they discussed the structure.  One felt that it was a party boat, while the other felt that it should be a fire boat.  At the suggestion of one of the boys, they decided that it would be a party fire boat. As they built, they thought of things that the boat would need to be complete.  "These are seats for the people on the boat."  "They can climb up here to see where they are going/"  As they visualized and verbalized each item, they searched for the blocks that would be just right to for that part of the boat

After some discussion it was decided that the seats should be located under the tower so that the people on the boat could climb up quickly if necessary.

The party fire boat, when the last block was put on and the last piece was hammered, was a masterpiece.  The boys had worked together to plan and build a wonderful creation.  Along the way they had practiced the give and take of social situations and cooperation, verbalized their ideas and built their language, exercised their long arm muscles, and worked with algebra and geometry by using the unit blocks.  It seemed a shame to put the blocks away at the end of the day, but the story of the party fire boat is captured in pictures, and the next day .... there was another block masterpiece.

Do You Smell Something?

During my commute today, I was listening to the radio when one of the morning people mentioned (I don't know what lead up to it) that she loved the smell of new tires.  She admitted to being a tire junkie who would leave her children sitting in the shopping cart in the tire aisle of a big box store while she smelled the air.  This lead to a further discussion where another one of the morning people told about how he loved the smell of play dough.  I haven't played with it in years, and I will not use it in my classrooms when there are many better, less expensive alternatives, but I do remember that smell after 45 or so years.  A caller talked about loving the smell of the horse stables.  I do remember that smell from visiting my sister while she was feeding her horses, but I was usually jumping out of the way of what I was sure was certain death by huge horse to pay too much attention.

After listening to the conversation, I began to think of my favorite smell - that of my favorite present, a large box of crayons.  There were only 64 or so crayons in the box back then, but I still remember opening a new box, seeing all of the brand new crayons in neat rows, and smelling the crayon smell.  I have since learned that some of that smell is from the beef fat in the crayons, which should be off-putting to a vegetarian, but I still love the smell.

From there I went on to other smells from my past.  The smell of baking bread always reminds me of my mother's kitchen, where she made bread for the family.  When my husband is working on a project and is sawing or sanding wood, the smell takes me back to my home, where my father - a carpenter - had a wood shop in the basement.  Burning wood reminds me of Girl Scout camp, where we cooked over a fire during the day, and sang songs around the fire at night.  If I try, I can still smell the canvas of the tents where we slept.

 

So, you may ask, what does your love of the smell of crayons have to do with anything?  The point is that humans are very sensory beings.  Everyone has memories that can to evoked by a smell or a sound.  Young children, who are absorbing new things like a sponge absorbs water, are particularly interested in smells.  Too many programs for young children try to emphasize sensory items in the environment, but neglect the olfactory senses.  Does the program smell like disinfectant and bleach?  Does it smell like the diaper pail should have been emptied two hours ago?  Does it smell pleasant and welcoming or like the guinea pig's cage is long overdue for a change.  If the smell in not unpleasant, it is too often neutral and offers no stimulation.

 

There are many simple ways to help children experience the sense of smell.  While incense and candles are (of course) out of the question, there are many other ways to scent the air.  Children love to grind spices with a mortar and pestle.  Shop around - there are huge differences in the price of spices.  Do baking projects - cookies baking and bread rising have their own special spells.  Have the cook make real food - nothing is more welcoming that the smell of spaghetti sauce or soup simmering.  Flowers are a lovely addition to a room.  A pot of hyacinths in the spring will scent the whole room.  Herbs can be grown in pots on the windowsill.  Rubbing basil and other herbs is a special experience.  Smelly bottles can be made by soaking cotton balls in essential oils or extracts, putting the cotton in a bottle and hot gluing on the lid, and poking a few small holes in the sides.  The scented pine cones that are sold in the fall and winter will add a spicy smell to the room.

 

Adding a scent to a room is limited only by a teacher's imagination.  Just make sure that everything that is used is safe for children and, of course, that you talk about the smells if you should notice that a child is noticing them.  Also, remember that one child's delicious smell is another child's stinky smell, but they are both are correct.  Make some happy memories for your children, and they will remember you years later.

 

P.S. (Can you P.S. a blog?  I don't know, but since it is mine, I will).  After writing this post and finishing my day, I headed to Wegmans to get groceries.  I have been working 6:30 to 6:00 most of the week, with a 45 minute commute each way, so I was really dragging.  It was past 7:30 when I headed for the checkout.  At the end of one register, where there is usually a bin of some sort of merchandise, there was a bar of Yardley lavendar soap.  It has always been my favorite but it is very difficult to find now.  I held the cardboard box up to my nose and breathed in.  All at once I was visiting my New England relatives. Another breath and I was going to the Hopewell Jct. Pharmacy to buy a three pack in a pretty box as a gift for my mother.  Another breath and I realized that the cashier was looking at me funny, so I put the soap in my cart and checked out.  Tonight when I am home I will probably smell it again.

In my last posting I wrote about the problems that I see in today's electronic world.  I ranted about the way that people isolate themselves by being plugged into earbuds at all times, how people cannot walk through a grocery store without stopping to check their messages, about how children must have a video on at all times, and about how electronic toys are stealing children's imaginations.  I truly meant all of these things when I wrote them, and I still believe that they are true. 

But -oops! - several weeks ago we decided to change service providers for our phone, television, and internet in order to save money.  We were moving right on schedule, and the television service was installed with no problems, but the internet and phone did not come when they were expected.  I made a quick phone call to see when they were coming, only to discover that they were not coming.  I spoke reasonably, I begged, I pleaded, I even yelled (in a fairly calm manner), but to no avail.  Our paperwork had not been completed - much like talking to the children about a problem, no one had made the mistake - and we would not be hooked up for ten days.

My greatest concern was the telephone, since we have a number of family and friends who might want to contact us.  We do have cells, but they are the pay-as-you-go type, and can be expensive if we talk too much.  Still, I am reasonable, mature adult, so I should be able to handle this.  After all, for most of my life some of these items never even existed.

When one of my daughters was about thirteen, our telephone was out for a day.  She went through withdrawals, and when the repairman finally came I could have kissed him on the lips.  I have always laughed at this, or at least I did until I did ten days with no internet and very limited telephone.

The internet was really the worst, since I email my family, read blogs and articles, and google anything that catches my interest.  Believe it or not (and I had trouble believing it), Facebook was the worst.  I am used to checking frequently to see if my family, and especially my grandchildren, are doing anything new or noteworthy (or, in the case of my grandson, which body part he has hurt now).  I could check it quickly at work, but weekends were dry.  I couldn't see what the family or my friends were doing, and I couldn't voice my opinion on my friend's posts and pictures.  Even worse, I couldn't save the world by shooting bubbles at giant spiders or scheming witches.

I was happy to be reconnected and back to my internet.  I still think that we are too hooked into our electronics, but I am beginning to understand how people can become so hooked into them.  I have become accustomed to going online whenever I want to put a library book on hold, find a new recipe, follow the political news, or look for a new idea.  I will never go be one of those people who are hooked into the internet all day long, but I have found that I depend on it much more than I had realized.

Batteries Not Included? Good!

Young children today are growing up in a world that is radically different from the one in which I was raised.  Technology is growing is growing at an ever increasing pace, and things are becoming obsolete before our eyes.  I remember that my family got our first television on Thanksgiving day when I was four or five.  It was a black and white (as was every other tv) and we watched the Macy's parade.  Since I lived in Dutchess County, NY we were able to watch a total of seven channels - ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and three independents from the city.  (In the hot summer, channels 2 (CBS)and 4 (NBC) ran into each other, so we didn't really have them)  Now children have any number of television sets in their house, each with flat screens, living color, VCRs, and 200 channels.  Our telephone was a black rotary phone, and we were on a party line with several other houses in the neighborhood.  Dinner was always cooked on the stove and typewriters were big clunky machines.  When we were teenagers we had the ultimate in new and cool - transistor radios!  When I was married, my Aunt Edie from Texas gave me the latest in kitchen tools - an electric frying pan.  To top it all off, when I was in college and married, I wrote long letters (by hand!) to my family and friends, walked to the post office to buy the stamps, and waited three or four days for the letter to arrive.

This new world can be confusing (another new version of windows?  I just learned how to save a file on the last one!), annoying (Why can't I have caps and punctuation on my text?  It is civilized!), and silly (Angry Birds?  On a telephone?).  Even so, I have found that email is much faster than snail mail if there is something that I want my family to know.  I love not having long distance fees when I talk to my daughters for hours.  Cable can sometimes be entertaining (as long as no one finds out that I love to watch Lizard Lick Towing).  I enjoy keeping up with friends on Facebook, but I am tired of people who post everytime that they brush their teeth.   Although I am an avid reader and love the feel of books and the time spent in the library, I am starting to develop Nook lust.

I have two major concerns with the boom in technology.  The first is that people are becoming more isolated from others as they stay plugged in to their electronics or sit and play on their computer.  There are so many wonderful sounds to hear outdoors, and so many good conversations are missed when ear buds are shoved deep into ears or phone owners are texting rather than listening or conversing.  There are so many wonderful things in this world which are being missed in favor of Angry Birds.  I realize how adictive these games can be ("I'll just shoot off one more set of balls to see if I can set the monkey free from the poachers and then I will ...."), but it is time to resist the draw of electronic.

My second concern is that electronics are taking the place of people and imagination in young children's lives.  Parents are concerned that reading scores among children are dropping in this country, so they buy their children electronic toys or videos to teach the alphabet or nursery rhymes.  The only trouble with this is that studies have shown that children do not learn from electronics, but from human interaction.  The best thing that a parent can do to help a child prepare to learn to read well uses totally free materials - a library and a lap.  Children learn language and reading readiness from people - people who read to them, sing to them, and talk to them about the world around them.  This is not the ravings of a cranky grandma; this is factual and backed by sicentific evidence.

When I began in child care (almost thiry years ago - oh, my!), the children played busily during the day.  The center was full of the sound of children making noises.  They were racing cars, playing puppy, shooting pretend guns (yes, I know that it is not politically correct, but that is a message for another day), cooking food, ringing telephones, roaring dinosaurs, being police sirens ... the list could go on and on.  Today, however, every toy makes a sound, if not several sounds so that the children have no need to do so.  The solution seems simple - remove the batteries.  For every battery that I have removed, a staff member or parent is waiting to replace it so that the "toy will work".  (I have discovered that a soak in nice soapy water or a ride through the dishwasher will usually render the electronics inoperable.  Since the toys need to be cleaned regularly, this is fairly easy to accomplish!).

Often staff members who are younger do not realize just how much these children have lost by having toys that make all of the noises for them.  A few weeks ago one of my younger staff members wanted batteries because one of the fire trucks no longer had a siren.  I refused the batteries and told the staff member that the child needed to learn to make the noises himself.  I did explain my rationale, and sent them back to play.  The staff member tried to encourage the child to be a siren, but he said that he could not.  The staff member then asked the child if he knew how a fire truck sounded.  The child replies, "Yes.  Put in the batteries and you will, too."  I rest my case.

1200 Words

As I was driving to work yesterday, the disc jockey was talking about a recent scientific study that was done by a psychologist (at least I think he said that it was a psychologist).  The study determined that the average person had 1200 words per minute going through his head.  I can believe this, since my head is often filled with songs, to-do lists, comments on things that are going on around me, and the Great American Novel that I am sure that I will write some day.  (I did spend some time wondering how he actually counted the words per minute - did each subject have to repeat everything that his brain was saying or could they tape them with some kind of CT scan?)  This would have just been another interesting bit of trivia if it weren't for one detail that I found very upsetting.  It turns out that out of those 1200 words, 1100 of them are negative.

Ninety two per cent of a person's thoughts each minute are negative?  I am a generally happy person, and although I occasionally have an unhappy or negative thought I cannot conceive of being so negative most of the time.  Is life so difficult?  Are so many things going wrong?  Is there no hope?

Unfortunately, I think that in many cases negativity is something that has been learned.  No one gives lessons in being negative, but it is something that is picked up as we grow.  When Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote the score for "South Pacific", they included a song called "They've Got to be Taught."  The plot involved a Navy Ensign and a Navy Nurse who were romantically involved with South Pacific natives, but found that they could not act on that  attraction because of racial prejudices.  They sang about children learning to hate and fear others from their families.

Do we learn negative thoughts from others?  I cannot believe that children are born to be negative thinkers.  They are busy, inquisitive, emotional, friendly, frightened, hungry, loving, anxious...  Children can be many things, and each one has a different personality.  There are definately negative moments when a child is afraid, angry, mad, or frustrated, but there are many happy moments also.  How does a child learn to be negative?  Is it when he hears his adults speaking negatively about others?  Is it when he cannot measure up to his adult's expectations?  Is it when his adults are ignoring his accomplishments?  Is it when his adults are ignoring his questions or treating him like he is stupid?  Is it when he is so pampered that he cannot do anything for himself?  Is it when he is the target of jokes and comments?  I can still remember several times when I was young and an adult made fun of my weight or something that I had done.  These adults were relatives and friends of my parents, and I know that they were nice people.  Still, my only memories of them are the times that they made fun of me to get a laugh from other adults.  What a sad legacy!

The Bible tells us to "raise up a child in the way that he should go and he will follow it all of the days of his life".  Children are so precious, and so fragile.  Please, please make sure that the children in your life are treated positively so that they may have positive, productive lives.  As adults we have so much power to influence the children that we meet - make sure that you are a positive influence.