Who me? I'm not scared!

In the last post I referred to parents' fears about raising their children.  While I think that it is very true, I don't believe that it is a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of concern.  Parents want their children to have the best possible childhood, to be happy, and to do well in school.  Unfortunately, these days parents are bombarded with messages about the latest, newest, best product (usually electronic) that will guarantee that their child will be ready to learn in kindergarten and on the fast track to Harvard.  Think for a minute - does the CEO of Matel, Fisher Price, or Playschool really care if Johnny Brown is a success?  Their prime reason for having a company is to make money, and the more that they can guilt parents into purchasing these items, the more money the company will make. 

This is not just the ranting of a grandmother (in my days we. . .), but is a charge that is reinforced by scientific study.  Many of the electronic toys that are aimed at young children claim to encourage language development.  In reality, they tend to retard language development.  Did you know that the Baby Einstein videos were proven to slow language acquisition in children and Disney was forced to refund the cost of the tapes to parents?  Did you know that children today do not make noises when they play with cars or animals because they expect the toy to make noises, and if it does not they assume that it is broken?  Do you know that deaf parents were told to keep the TV turned on so that their children could develop language but the children did not develop language until they went to school and talked to real people?  A fascinating book, At a Loss for Words by Betty Bardige and T. Berry Brazelton, MD, details how children in the United States are not developing language as well and as quickly as in the past.  Because of the heavy advertising, parents who want only the best for their children are actually hindering their progress!

Now what?  Fortunately, the way to remedy this is simple, inexpensive, and uses readily available materials.  What are they?  Your voice and your brain!  Turn off the electonics and talk to your children.  Starting when your child is an infant, talk to them.  Talk about what you see, what you hear, and what you are doing.  Read lots of books.  When you are grocery shopping, talk about what you are buying - what it is, what it looks like, when you will eat it, how it tastes - the possibilites are endless.  There are only a few simple rules to remember.  Always talk in sentences as you were talking to another adult, since children need to learn the sounds and rhythms of language.  Do not baby talk - your children will grow up sounding like they come from another planet.  Most improtant of all - have fun, relax, and enjoy this time together.

I know that so far I have addressed parents rather than caregivers.  This has been done for two reasons - the anxiety that parents feel often influences the pressures that they put on caregivers to do "educational" lessons when they do not fully understand how children learn so I want to relieve this anxiety.  The other is that everything that I have written also applies to the classroom.  Too often I have seen teachers of young children who just sit and watch them without engaging them in conversation.  How sad  that they are missing a true educational opportunity.  If you talk to your children, they will become vocal, literate children who will express themselves well and communicate with others easily.  The only downside of this is that they may never stop talking!