A Boy Scout is Truthful

Work and life have been very busy lately, so blog entries have not been getting done.  That doesn't mean that my mind has not been on them; I am often writing entries in my head while I am occupied at another task.  I have been tying to decide which order to use when writing them, but one thought has been coming to my mind more often than any other - the need for absolute truth when caring for young children.  Everyone knows (I hope) the need for truth at work - not stealing, not faking illness to get out of work, not lying about reimbursable expenses.  I am talking about the need for absolute truth when dealing with children and their families.

Everyone who has worked in a child care center can probably relate a few horror stories - the director who tells a parent about a child's day when she has not been near a child all day, the staff member who tells a parent that they applied sunscreen when they didn't, the staff member who "fixes up" a child's project to impress the parents... the list can go on and on.  Little white lies and harmless untruths?  No.

This was brought forcefully to mind by a mother who visited the center seeking child care for her son.  The administration gave her a tour, explained the center's policies, and explained the center's curriculum, which consists of developmentally appropriate activities that allow the children to explore and investigate their environment.  She told us that her son (who had just turned three) had been in a home day care.  When he was 18 months old the owner had moved him from the infant/toddler room to the preschool room (ages three and up).  There he had learned how to count in English and in Spanish and to say the alphabet.  The mother was very proud that her child had such a body of knowledge.  The only trouble was that most children his age can count and recite the alphabet.  That does not mean, however, that they understand what numbers are and how letters are used; it is the first step to learning that every child must take.  The mother ultimately decided to take her child to another center because we were not "advanced enough" for her child.

It is okay that she decided to use another center; not every center is a perfect fit for every family and every child.   What bothers me is that her child care provider was not honest with her.  If a child was moved up to another room 18 months before he was old enough, he was most likely moved because the day care provider wanted to enroll another infant but did not have enough room until a child moved up.  This means that a child was moved into a room of three, four, and five year olds.  He was playing, socializing, and learning with children who were as much as three and four years older than he was.  I do not mean to belittle the child - he could very well be very bright.  Even so, each child has certain developmental stages that he must reach before he can go on to the next one.  Forcing a child to skip a stage or two does not help him and may even make things more difficult for him in the future.  Convincing a parent that a child is ready to do something that he is not is inexcusable.  The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) has developed a code of ethics for those who care for young children.  The first principle of the code (P 1-1) is "Above all, we shall not harm children".  This does not refer only to physical harm, but to emotional, social, and intellectual harm.  While this child may not have been hurt physically, being put into an environment that the he was not not developmentally ready to enter was not in his best interest.  Was he happy trying to play with children who were on a completely different developmental level?  Was he stressed trying to do work that was not appropriate for him?  Was he frustrated trying to do activities that his hands and eyes and brain were not ready to do?

So often it is tempting to take the easy way out - to tell the little white lie or to stretch the truth a little.  We must remember that we are not just making Aunt Rose feel better by telling that we enjoyed her prune pie, but that we are dealing with children's growth and development as well as with parents' perception of their children.  We need to truthful if everything if we are to be professionals who are dedicated to the growth and perception of young children.  No exceptions!

This post is entitled "A Boy Scout is Truthful" because I was thinking that was a part of the Boy Scout code that would apply to caregivers.  When I looked it up, I discovered that truthful is not part of the Boy Scout code.  Boy Scouts are cheerful, reverent, loyal, trustworthy, etc., etc., etc., but not truthful.  (It is, however, implied!)  Anyway, even though I was wrong about the Boy Scout code, I liked the title so I kept it (and that is the truth!).