Thoughts

My sister emailed me a few days ago about her three year old grandchild, who she feels is very cute and very bright (while he is, I don't have the heart to tell her that my grandchildren are obviously much cuter and brighter!).  While he was visiting he asked to see the creek behind the house.  My sister felt that it would not be very interesting because the water level was low, but they walked down to the creek.  The grandson looked at the creek and told her, "It's full of allergies".  "Allergies"?  In a creek?  Suddenly it dawned on her - there was algae in the creek.  The grandson was commenting on the fact that he saw algae in the creek. 

Now, this is a very cute story, and I enjoyed it very much.  While I enjoyed it because it was funny and made me laugh, I enjoyed it even more because of what it told me about the grandson's life.  This is a child who is obviously interested in what is going on around him and who enjoys being outside.  This means that he has parents and grandparents who let him run around, investigate, and enjoy nature.  He observes his surroundings and talks about what he sees, which means that adults are looking and talking with him.  He is comfortable in the outdoors, which means that he has spent time in the fresh air.  He has an unusual vocabulary, which means that he has been developing communication and language skills by talking with the adults in his life.  Children do not learn about algae by playing Angry Birds or by watching cartoons.  This is a child who has an excellent start in life because the adults in his life are paying attention to him rather than parking him in front of "educational" electronics.

Several days later my sister sent a picture that grandson had painted for her.  He told her that it was a picture of a circle, and she had framed it and hung it in her living room.  I always admire people who frame and display children's art (don't tell my sister, however) because I tend to be the sort of refrigerator magnet decorator.  I enjoy his paintings and his sense of color, but I especially enjoy them because his parents and grandparents enjoy, admire, and treasure them.  What seem to adults to be mindless scribbling and swiping are actually very important developmental steps for a child.  A child needs to go through 80 stages of scribbling before they can begin to form letters.  These first attempts at writing and drawing are the equivalent of learning to crawl, stand, and walk, but many parents treat small children's art as if it were meaningless, rather than celebrating it with their child.  One of the saddest sight that I see in a child care classroom is a cubby stuffed full of a child's art that has been accumulating for several months.  Even sadder are the parents who tell the staff to "just throw it out".  (My staff, by the way, will not throw out a child's art.)  A child who is prewriting, drawing, coloring, writing, cutting, and pasting is learning many important skills which include:  fine motor control, sorting and classifying (math skills), color mixing (science), and self-expression, not to mention the language, communication, and social skills that are developed when the child talks to an adult about their artwork.  Parents who are pushing their children to learn what they believe is necessary to become ready for kindergarten give the children no encouragement when they take the steps that are needed to develop the skills.  Children are excited and proud about their work, and having a loved one ignore it to throw it into the garbage without looking at it is horribly unkind.  A picture in a frame seems to be a small thing, but it speaks volumes about the way that his family understands the grandchild and how much they value him. 

So what is my point in all of this?  Rather than worrying that your child is not learning enough to be ready for school, get involved with him.  Put down your ipad, turn off the tv (and don't tell me that it is educational videos - that is usually an oxymoron!), turn off your phone, and spend time with your child.  Talk about what you see, what you are doing, and what is happening.  Use grownup words and talk as if you were talking to a peer - that is how children learn language.  If you always baby talk or use one syllable words, so will your child.  Not only will you be helping your child to succeed, you will be having a whole lot of fun!